I was organizing my office the other day and I came across an old journal. It was from my youth, the years of 18 to 25. I was struck by a common theme. I often said "oh well, I'll just wait and see what happens". What? Seriously? I was annoyed and a little defeated because there are times in my life where that thinking still creeps in.
Then I thought about feedback and awareness and I realized that stumbling upon that journal was a gift. It was from half a lifetime ago and I can see that I have a running log of improvement over time. I see that I have met many of the goals I set out for myself and I have come up with lots of new ones. If I'm honest with yourself I could see a few patterns of blame and victim thinking. This glimpse into my past really made me take a good long look. Where did things go wrong in my life? More importantly, where did things go right? Is it better that some things didn't work out? In many cases I see that a past "failure or mistake" was the best thing that could have happened. What could I have done to change certain situations? Perhaps things really are exactly as they should be?
I've noticed that I often wrote about what I didn't like about myself instead of celebrating the brave, fearless, beautiful twenty something I was. I kicked ass and never gave myself credit for it. I still try to live life with courage and I don't often give myself credit even now. I had to ask....why do I still do that? Sadly, many of us have grown and evolved into really amazing people yet we forget to notice that.
So here it goes. Guess what? I am feisty, loving, smart, strong, brave, generous, caring, creative, visionary. I am on a quest to learn and grow. I am working on myself everyday. I am the mother of three amazing daughters who I love more than anything. I am always trying to find ways to allow them to be exactly, authentically who they are. I juggle the varies roles I have and try to live life in a mindful and present way. I'm not perfect but I am real.
I am a wife and I have chosen a very challenging guy as my partner. I often wonder how I managed to marry the most difficult and complex person I have ever met. I know that there are many lessons for us both to learn. I sometimes want to walk away from him. However, I continue to work on me and my role in this relationship. Sometimes I ponder, is it braver to stay and work on it or go and face the World again as a single, independent person?
I do know I have a lot of awareness about myself and others and I tap into that everyday to help people be the best they can be. I am human and I allow all those strengths and weaknesses to help myself and others be the best they can be. I increasingly admit what I don’t like and work on it. I unapologetically embrace my strengths and continue to work on being even better. I work on figuring out my blind spots so I can work on things one at a time. I will help you do the same. Denial is a lovely thing to let go of.
So if you want a coach to help you with a holistic improvement of your life I can help you with that. I will wrap that awareness up with a big bow and I'll be right next to you when you unwrap the mystery inside.
Jenn Nahman - Cofounder Joule Coaching
